Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
