the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just invented taco cereal.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
