I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
