**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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