apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
