Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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