I think my fart just growled at me.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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