I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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