She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
