forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When are your genitals available?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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