Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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