Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
