i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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