i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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