oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
