I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize