Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
