My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
