did you get engaged???
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
