You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
