I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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