8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
