Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
