its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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