Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
