i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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