is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
