This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
