it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize