She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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