You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
