I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
