I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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