my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
