Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
