I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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