I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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