Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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