yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
