can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
