Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
