winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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