I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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