I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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