so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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