You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
