So drunk its hurt
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
