I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
