So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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