Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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