You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize