I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
