he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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