I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
