We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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