I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
