Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
