I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
