3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
