We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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