I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
