ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize